Debunking
The Yoruba proverb "Karin kapo, yiye lon yeni". Is it legit or not? Let's find out.
In the episode linked below and the above comment Favour Michael said
“Amazing write-up you have here! The impact of friends and good connections in life is astounding. I would like to know more about how it can sometimes not lead to valuable opportunities👌.You're a talented writer 💯💯”
Ladies and Mentlegen and everyone in between I will be sharing my three and half cents on this topic because why not. But before we dive in, let me give you a quick background story. So, there's this article ‘…on relationship.’ that discusses the perks of having friends, why we shouldn't be loners, and all that good stuff. If you're curious, go ahead and check it out for the juicy details. But hey, enough of the formalities, let's get this party started, shall we?
To answer this topic on having friends I will be sharing a popular youruba quote ỌMỌ́TÁRÁ ÀKÀNNÍ-LAWRENCE (@theladymotara) once shared "Karin kapo, yiye lon yeni" for my non yoruba audience it means moving in group is befitting or the more the merrier. This quote means its good to have friends and work in bunch but with all due respect ODUDUWA Sir. It is a big CAP but I will rather say “Karin Kapo Ibere O*i B****u Ni“ hear me out.
With a big circle can be very dangerous is it the side talks, the gossips,the conflicts you name it. There are a plethora of reasons why its not good but before then here is another person’s opinion.
I am not saying it is bad for you to have friends but you need to be wise. Set boundaries you can’t be close with everyone and mind you boundary isn’t beef it is just you saying you respecting your self. Enough of the talking let’s us know why sometimes friendship do not lead to valuable opportunities.
While having friends can bring numerous benefits and joy to our lives, it's important to acknowledge that there can also be some disadvantages or challenges that come along with friendships. Here are a few potential downsides:
Time, energy and effort: First up, we've got the issue of time and energy. Balancing friendships with the demands of work, family, and personal goals can feel like juggling hot puff-puff while doing Davido’s Unavailable dance cos it’s almost impossible . One wrong move or schedule, and boom! Your carefully balanced life comes crashing down, leaving you with a bowl of burnt puff-puff and shattered dreams. Now imagine having a very big circle that are into diverse things .How will you achieve something in this toxic environment
Conflict and disagreements: Friendships are not immune to conflicts and disagreements. Is it the side talks, side comments the beef within a beef or the inner circle within the circle, the drama! It's like watching a Nollywood movie unfold in real life. Differences in opinions can turn a peaceful hangout into a full-blown wrestling match, with words flying like wrestlers in colorful costumes. Who needs a pay-per-view event when you have friends that wrestle every time
Emotional investment: Close friendships often involve emotional vulnerability and support. Friendships can be like riding a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. One moment, you're dancing together while listening to a TikTok sound , and the next, you have to act like you're sobbing because one of your friend just received premium breakfast or their partner didn't reply to their WhatsApp message and you that is single what can you do? Nothing than to console the friend while you have something else to do because what re friends for. Emotions run high, folks, so hold onto your small circle for dear life.
Dependence and expectations: Depending too heavily on friends for emotional support or validation can put strain on the relationship. Expecting friends to always be available or to fulfill certain needs can create unrealistic expectations and may lead to disappointment or resentment. When you are not Liverpool why will you choose to walk with multitudes that won’t be there for you when you are losing. Liverpool fans no offence
Loss and transitions: Friendships can change or end due to various reasons, such as relocation, life circumstances, or personal growth. This can be emotionally challenging and may leave us feeling a sense of loss or loneliness.
It's important to note that while these disadvantages exist, the overall benefits and positive aspects of friendships typically outweigh them. Nurturing healthy, balanced friendships and effectively managing challenges can help create long-lasting and meaningful connections. So, therefore, carry your few friends on your head like gele. Laugh through the conflicts, dance through the emotional rollercoaster, and keep your friendship game strong like a Yoruba woman's gele on a windy day. Because at the end of the day, the laughter, the shared memories, and the joy of true friendship make it all worth it.
I hope I was able to share a thing or two. Thank you for joining and reading to the end I really appreciate. Before you bid adieu I had a collaboration with Riri's Haven and it was published yesterday. Psst! Guess What? there is an audio in the collaboration so clink the link below and enjoy.
Still Your Tech Savvy Esquire.
Karin kapo ibeere or**bu ni -Bayovrosky 2023