Unscripted Occurrence
You are the pen and to a large extent you control the narrative.
About a while ago I faced a question from a friend that is as sharp as a dagger: "What is Disappointment?" My friend, his eyes alight with a thirst for answers, waited for wisdom that I, myself, desperately sought(I wonder why my friends think so highly of me)
I had a quick flashback and a bitter smile tugged at my lips. Disappointment? Oh, well I have my fair share. She is the unwelcome guest who still lingers at life's feasts, stealing joy, dreams, ambition and leaving behind a sour aftertaste.She is the one behind the "NO" we get when we expect that big thing to happen.
I have danced with her on countless stages, from missed opportunities to broken promises, each time swallowing the hard pill of her presence. Even my taste buds are beginning to get familiar.
The question hung heavy, as I didn't know what to say. Silence coiled around us, threatening to smother the fragile hope my friend's gaze held(this person must think so much of me) My mind raced, searching for words that wouldn't betray the complexity of this question.
Finally, I cleared my throat and I did what anybody would do – coughed up a half-baked answer. The words tumbling out like pebbles tossed into a well of uncertainty. "Disappointment," I rasped, "is not a condemnation. It's a redirection."
The response, hollow even to my own ears, bounced back, ricocheting off the walls of doubt. Did I truly believe it? Disappointment, what did I just say, redirection, as how??? Each bitter memory screamed in defiance, a chorus of rejections and shattered dreams I have gotten yet I didn't redirect I was only resilient. So why did I mention redirection?
My friend, however, nodded, a spark of acceptance in his eyes just grinned. "Hmmm, makes sense, man. Like, maybe that thing you wanted then wasn't your jam, right? Now you're free to find your true calling."
I just gave this answer without thinking much and the deeper you take a look at it the more you believe I was wrong. You can argue that while disappointment can be something that shapes us. It's neither a condemnation nor a redirection.
Amidst these arguments(if you have a different opinion) disappointment can as well be a bitter pill if swallowed too often. It can leave us choking on the fumes of unfulfilled expectations. We might stumble against the stones of missed goals, the wreckage of broken dreams, the ashes of unreciprocated love. Yet I said I said it's not condemnation yet it feels like it, it smells like it, it tastes like it, it even appears like it.
Regardless, within these smoldering embers of rejection lies the potent fuel for personal growth, the spark that ignites the phoenix of transformation, to iterate ideas beyond the horizon. it is what shapes us to doing something different. It's a road map that tells us there are other routes we can take. We can use disappointment to our advantage.
Imagine a forest charred by wildfire, the blackened and burnt earth surface seemingly devoid of life. Yet, beneath the surface, roots still cling to hope while seeds lie dormant, waiting for the rains of resilience to awaken them, to make them sprout.
With each drop of disappointment, we nourish these hidden seeds, fertilize them with the lessons learned and water them with the tears of self-compassion.
Disappointment is not a condemnation, but a redirection. It reminds us that the path we envisioned was not the path meant to be and that a new horizon waits beckoning us with the promise of uncharted possibilities and records unbroken.
Why am I writing this, well we are 8 days into the new year and I must say I have received a bunch of rejection mails(aired to be precise). This shouldn't make me sit on my hands because of the condemnation rather I should learn from it and find a redirection to a different and better way to achieving my goal.
Take it or leave it we should use this hard pill to our advantage. We should Let the flames of disappointment consume the idea of negativity which in turn clears the ground for a stronger, wiser version of ourselves to rise from the ashes. Try and understand the reason for the disappointment, don't shy from it rather learn from it. That way you will find better iteration for the goal.
The question, "What is disappointment?" should no longer haunt you. Instead, it should become a compass, guiding us through the tangled paths of life, reminding us that even the bitterest pill may hold the seeds of a sweeter tomorrow.
The relief I felt after he agreed with my take in disappointment was short-lived, wilting faster than the last 5 minutes in an exam hall. My guy, was like a bottomless pit of questions, ready to swallow every morsel of wisdom I offered. My palms were sweaty and I swear I could hear my brain cells beginning to bang just from answering one question I kind of flopped at.
Just as he launched into another "Bayo, what's your take on..." question, a call came me and with lightning speed I ran excused myself(million little miracles🥺).
A great piece you have here. By the way, you ran away not because of the questions, but because you didn't want to engage your thinking faculty. Any way, what's your take on...😂